Telemarketers

You've had a so-so day and are just ready to sit down and eat that delicious dinner that you've had simmering in the crock pot all day. You take that first bite and realized that your new chef should be "Rival" when out of the blue . . . the phone rings. No, it's not important news or even a friend who caught you at the wrong time - it's the dreaded "sales pitch". Within the last year or two, you don't even get a call from a real, live person - it's a computer. Barb the Computer called my house a lot for awhile - haven't heard from her in awhile. Those are so easy to hang up on. No one there to hurt their feelings. Sometimes I'll even listen to the end just in case they give you a code or a number to call to be taken off the list. It's the real people that bug me - half the time I can't understand what they are trying to say - let alone sell - they can't pronounce my last name, ask me how much I'm paying on my mortgage, ask if I have children younger than 18 living in the house, ask if my carpets need cleaned (listen, if I have children younger than 18 living here you can be sure my carpets need cleaned!), ask me if I have "just a couple minutes" to answer some survey questions, or try to tell me they are sending me on a "all inclusive paid" trip to somewhere I don't really want to go. Last I knew, if you are given something, you must claim it on your taxes as a gift & pay gift taxes - even when they tell you "Oh, no you don't have to pay sales tax." If I can't afford to go on a trip - I can't afford the gift taxes! And the last time I had people clean my carpet, they hooked me into allowing them to use some kind of cleaner that will disinfect the worst water damage, dog odors, etc. The "treatment" costs more than the cleaning. And whenever I answer survey questions, I get ten more calls trying to sell me whatever my answers seemed to tell them about products I need or purchase.
I'm one of those people who just never got around to being put on the do not call list. I guess it's because I need an outlet - someone that I can vent to without caring if I hurt their feelings. What I really want to say is "Get a REAL job!" Only a teeny-tiny percentage of people in the sales industry are going to make that $100,000 a week income - the rest of you - you'll be wondering why you don't have money to pay the bills or buy groceries. That pay by the week motel room is sounding better and better than a $2000 mortgage payment.
My daughter and I had a favorite - if the caller ID showed an "unavailable" number, we figured it was a telemarketer - so we'd answer the phone with "Roadhouse Cafe - you kill it, we grill it, what did you run-over?" One telemarketer laughed so hard and thanked me and hung up. I guess we made her day. That response worked for awhile until my sister-in-law called - at that time her number wouldn't show up on the called ID - she didn't think it was so funny. Then I started double-talking the telemarketers until they got so frustrated they hung up. Now I respond to their question with a question. They don't want me to ask them personal stuff - don't ask me. It really works when I've had a really bad day or I'm really ticked off with bad drivers (see post "Road Rants" below). I give these people on the phone a piece of my mind until they hang up. Just a waste of everyone's time.
Door to door salesmen - I had a neighbor who really fixed the Kirby vacuum people. I loved her approach. They came to her door & upon answering they handed her a dust buster vacuum and told her it was free gift. She thanked them & slammed the door. They knocked again and explained that it was a free gift IF she allowed them in to clean her carpet to show her what a great vacuum Kirby was (& by the way Kirby is a GREAT vacuum - we had one for years!) - she explained her husband worked nights & was sleeping so they couldn't vacuum as the noise would bother him. And no, she didn't return their free gift. I wondered why they didn't show up at my house! They lost their free gift! When they returned to our street the following week, they explained what they were giving away and for what reason before they handed the free gift to someone! Guess they learned their lesson. Anyone else have a funny story to tell about telemarketers or door-to-door salesmen?